Ryan Dunn (holyloki) wrote,
Ryan Dunn

AMF + personal rambling.

Autonomous Mutant Fest starts this week. I'm leaving town monday night or tuesday morning, and it will be a welcome departure from all the things that have been weighing me down lately...

I wish I knew what to say, but the world is very tenuous, confusing, and heart-heavy. More and more I've been considering the possibility of uprooting and entirely changing my life. Some things need changing, including some parts of me.

Something is greatly resisting my efforts to simply be happy. I think for some time I've been locking up my emotions so I don't have to deal with them, and maybe ineffectively attempting to compensate. Not only am I unable to find satisfaction with my accomplishments, but I'm having difficulty moving on with projects I know I want to complete... Something is wrong, but I don't know how to cull it from the rest of my wreckage.

It doesn't help that the world is going crazy around me. A friend was committed today after being in the hospital for what she claims was a miscarriage, the second claim she's made like this, not to mention the rest of the nonsense she's been babbling...ultimately I'm glad she's getting help, even if by some kind of force.

Maybe this break into another kind of world will help for a bit, maybe I can use the time to attempt some refocusing.

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