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Sun, May. 21st, 2000, 12:28 am

hrm...today was interesting...woke at kim's and watched strange sat. morning cartoons with edgar for a bit, watched the basketball game for a while after me and susan went to the ave and looked at a couple thrift stores...uh, then hung out with jeff, jon, danny, kim and susan at red robin, then all but susan went to jeff and jon's for a bit...hmm...then danny and jon went to goodwill with me for a while, danny took me home without telling me he was just coming back to seattle...i would have taken the bus if i had known thhat, but he didn't tell me...oh well, it was very nice of him :)
anyhow, then i had my family watch eyes wide shut with me...that was an ordeal..they always act so immaturely about nudity, and especially in a movie like this they were particularly ridiclous. my dad always tries to make a big deal about how big a deal my mom makes about it and act like he is completely open to nudity, etc, to the point where he overdoes it and won't shut up.[well he does something like this in any movie, it is a sort of power struggle to show he can talk if he wants. i usually have to make him shut up by more clever means than telling him to do so.] hrm...anyhow, so finally i get them all to be quiet and just watch the movie and they fall asleep eventually, my mom wakes and watches most of the end, and she had been complaining it was stupid purely for the fact that there was 'unnecessary' nudity in the movie, and i think i made her see how it was necessary to some degree after she finished watching the movie. anyhow, so that was interesting, and now i'm here...
hope the people at the party are having fun, and hope everyone is else is happpy being either asleep or out, i'm glad to be home for once, and relaxing and comfortable in my own space. sometimes I need my own space...i feel uncomfortable being restless in other people's space...and i end up just repressing it and sitting down and being quiet and restless in one spot. i guess that doesn't make a whole lot of sense when i tend to be vague about some things, but perhaps it does. well, even with the bickering of my family and their patterns, i find just being at my house, some place i consider my own territory, where i am the master of my fate is appealing, and not necessarily something i want all the time, but something i have been away from for a bit too long. i don't think that being in control is dependent on position, which is something i will have to think about as i begin my trip and assessment of the importance of place, but i think more on the environment and the feeling of control of others on the place you are in, and that if there is not a sense of being at others whim based on their behavior that the environment is neutral, and then in some sense safe. i don't know why i feel uncomfortable in some places, or in the presence of some people, but i think it may have something to do with expectations, or possibly it goes back to the sense of power you have in certain situations...i will have to keep thinking about this andd get back to it...maybe formulate something more thoughtfully written down. anyhow, for now...

Sun, May. 21st, 2000 03:30 am (UTC)
patrick: eyes wide shut

I seem to remember that after we all saw the movie in the theater, you and me had a debate about the nudity in the movie and also about the censorship in the movie. You were arguing about how it was ok to censor it, and I was saying it dulled the point. I still think it dulled the point, but I guess some people aren't as dulled to sex as I am. oh well...

Sun, May. 21st, 2000 10:00 am (UTC)
holyloki: Re: eyes wide shut

i tend to argue either side of any point depending on who i am arguing with and the side they take in order for the debate to happen. sometimes the debate itself is what makes people aware of the truth, where they never would have considered it otherwise.[myself included] [shrug]

Sun, May. 21st, 2000 11:31 am (UTC)
patrick: Re: eyes wide shut

interesting point. I didn't consider that you were arguing for the sake of arguing. :)

Sun, May. 21st, 2000 02:36 pm (UTC)
holyloki: Re: eyes wide shut

i'm almost always arguing for the sake of arguing : ) [smirk] i mean there really isn't any other reason. i don't think it's worth while to argue to try to change someone's mind, unless they are asking to have something explained or there is a legitimate reason why they are mistaken.

Fri, May. 26th, 2000 11:44 am (UTC)
laurahoe: space

Hi Ryan,
sometimes I get overwelmed by what people say but I sense that it is not how they actually feel. I am so sensative and I know by body language or I just feel what is going on underneath the surface. People over time start to sensor thereselves cause they know it is innapropriate, but I wish they would just come out with it so I could responde and we could both move on.
Ya know? When do you start traveling. I think I may go back to Oregon this week, I am going nuts in Cali, I want to keep going but I don't know where to who knows. I am such a flake sometimes. :)

Fri, May. 26th, 2000 03:09 pm (UTC)
holyloki: Re: space

I am heading out on the 10th I believe. I am also planning on being in Portland the week before that, the weekend of the 2nd. I have to start planning where and when I will be going to certain places I suppose, or I might not make it everywhere I wanted to go. At least my trip isn't dependant on destination, but more on the actual travel...it does allow me certain freedoms. I can't wait though...it will be good to get out on the road...but my car has been acting up lately. So I'm not even sure what I'll be doing. It depends on how easily my car is fixed, and whether it will cost a lot of money or not. If it costs a lot of money I'm sort of screwed. But, I could pay for the repairs and borrow money from someone if I felt I needed it. Otherwise I might be able to pay for it and still have enough. It depends on the repairs that need to be made. The only thing that would be too much would be if it IS the A/C that needs replacement or fixing. Then the cost is enormous since you have to basically dismantle a car to get at its A/C system. Oh well... : / like I said before: I am going.