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Mon, May. 1st, 2006, 11:09 am

I think I need a refresher on socialization. I did well to teach myself how to be friendly and social some time ago. My ability to maintain social composure had gone up dramatically, but I think I lost it. I have way too many panic attacks when in public, I tend to want to sequester myself in my studio or room and I've gotten way too serious.

Does anyone have any suggestions or want to take me out and make me do ridiculous things with them? I have lots of ideas but I think I need a kick in the pants, and I need to recover my ego. I think I threw it away, because I don't know what to say to people anymore...if I ever did. I get so nervous that I don't have fun, and then I exceptionally fulfill that, and that makes me more nervous, ad infinitum.

Perhaps I do need some more performance in my life...I'm just having a terrible bout of stage fright.

Somehow I have just got to loosen up. Someone help! I'm strangling myself!

Mon, May. 1st, 2006 11:42 pm (UTC)

The problem is really that raely is the stuff going through my head particularly fun, and often too serious for light conversation.

I am terrible at small talk. I get too critical and overanalyze instead of letting myself be creative and have fun.

Thus, my request for fun. WHEEEE YAY, WOOHAH.