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Mon, May. 1st, 2006, 11:09 am
Refresher

I think I need a refresher on socialization. I did well to teach myself how to be friendly and social some time ago. My ability to maintain social composure had gone up dramatically, but I think I lost it. I have way too many panic attacks when in public, I tend to want to sequester myself in my studio or room and I've gotten way too serious.

Does anyone have any suggestions or want to take me out and make me do ridiculous things with them? I have lots of ideas but I think I need a kick in the pants, and I need to recover my ego. I think I threw it away, because I don't know what to say to people anymore...if I ever did. I get so nervous that I don't have fun, and then I exceptionally fulfill that, and that makes me more nervous, ad infinitum.

Perhaps I do need some more performance in my life...I'm just having a terrible bout of stage fright.

Somehow I have just got to loosen up. Someone help! I'm strangling myself!

Mon, May. 1st, 2006 08:35 pm (UTC)
very

i get like that, too. no panic attacks, thankfully, but i used to get quite anxious about being around large groups of people. i usually just blurt out whatever's in my head. or ask some random question. if the people are receptive and open the conversation will thankfully flow. just remember they're just people. you could cut them with a knife you wanted to! :)

Mon, May. 1st, 2006 11:42 pm (UTC)
holyloki

The problem is really that raely is the stuff going through my head particularly fun, and often too serious for light conversation.

I am terrible at small talk. I get too critical and overanalyze instead of letting myself be creative and have fun.

Thus, my request for fun. WHEEEE YAY, WOOHAH.
(Deleted comment)

Mon, May. 1st, 2006 11:39 pm (UTC)
holyloki

Cool. : )

Tue, May. 2nd, 2006 02:31 pm (UTC)
rideronthestorm

Are you going to see Acid Mothers? I am planning a hike if you're up for it and my roommate wants to do a huge bike trek this Saturday if you want in.

Tue, May. 2nd, 2006 04:36 pm (UTC)
holyloki

Oh, word. All these things I like. I have Acid Mothers on my calendar but I hadn't decided if I was going to go or not. I suppose I should check ticket prices and buy ahead of time.

I'm up for hiking and biking, but I work on weekend mornings so tell me more about the whens and the wheres. : )

Tue, May. 2nd, 2006 05:30 pm (UTC)
rideronthestorm

It's twenty but ten in advance. The biking has to be done very early, but the unplanned hike could happen within the week.

Tue, May. 2nd, 2006 04:42 pm (UTC)
holyloki

Oh, and hopefully I'll see you at the poetry reading tomorrow. I finally have the time free.