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Mon, Sep. 29th, 2003, 07:12 pm
wait a minute mister postman...

I woke this morning/afternoon to find I am slated to receive a letter. I haven't received a real letter in a long time. I'm not sure exactly how long, but regardless, I most closely associate the act of letter writing with my relationship with Jessica oh so long ago. I know at least a few of you must remember this, and were I a less proper man I would remind you in a very certain way. However, I now have this to look forward to, and hopefully it will contain very pleasant things. Hopefully it will do a bit of overshadowing, that I might dissociate unpleasant things from their rather neutral messenger. [crosses-fingers]

Today I finished reading what must have been the first piece of long fiction I've read in close to a year, and I read it in only a few days, so my confidence in reading speed has been a bit boosted. I think it also reminded me that my attention span needs to be redeveloped, and my patience must be continually evolved. It might help lessen my horrible neurotic tendency to over-contemplate.

Also, I need to build my collection of evocative music. I need background pleasantries, I have too much high music (as in high art, not as in music to listen to while high : P ).

Although, on that note, I'm pleased to say that tomorrow night will be 3 weeks. I kind of feel a lot better in some regards, although I do also feel some hesitancy toward an immediate conclusion.

And, ah, my attention span does seem to be fighting back after all.

Mon, Sep. 29th, 2003 07:37 pm (UTC)

focus definitely is learned/acquired/exercised. i've always felt that meditation was sort of flexing your focus muscles.

(an aside: when working on the computer for a long time, it's supposed to be good for you to try focusing your eyes on a faraway object behind your computer screen, then back, then away, etc. it literally exercises your focus muscles.)

Mon, Sep. 29th, 2003 08:33 pm (UTC)

I might want to clarify my thoughts about focus. It's not that I can't do it, it's that I've always had to fight back that neurotic over-analysis to get there, the neurotic over-analysis which means I tend to get caught up in tangents. When I do get focused I tend to end up a little obsessively so, and thus what I'm really doing is not necessarily trying to get attention span or focus, as much as trying to find a balance between detail and wholism.

It's not that I can't focus at one distance at a time, it's that I focus on too many distances at once and it ends up mimicking a jumping motion.

Tue, Sep. 30th, 2003 01:28 pm (UTC)

what do you consider high music? high as in high art, not music to listen to while high, haha..

Wed, Oct. 1st, 2003 01:37 am (UTC)
khadaji: almost interested enough to be jealous of ambition

no fair
on all counts