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Fri, Apr. 21st, 2000, 10:29 pm

this is a message i sent to a "friend" who said they didn't say anything to me earlier today becase they thought i was in a bad mood. actually i just didn't care to talk to her.:

heh. no, i'm not in a bad mood. i'm glad. i'm free from dealing with fakes and selfish liars. all those people who only come around when they want something are gone. if someone wants to actively respond to my genuine concern for them, they can put that effort in. if they don't react with integrity or responsibility after a while i decided i'm not hanging on to those people. they can come talk to me when they feel i'm worth their time, because until that is true, they aren't worth mine. seriously. this is a revelation i should have made a long time ago...i am a free man :) i am doing what i want, and i am not trying to please others who don't already appreciate what i do, even if it is just care.[shrug] this is actually very wonderful...i can care about myself now without not caring about others. i'm just not hurting myself over those who don't reciprocate.

: )