Ryan Dunn (holyloki) wrote,
Ryan Dunn

a Jackass by any other name

Ok, so this show has come up a few times recently...
Apparently, one of the guys who is a regular has the same name as me.
I have been talked to because someone thought I might be him.
It has been brought up simply because of a name.
It all seems silly.
[This started off as a post about how Renn Fayre apparently was on the show, but I think I'd rather talk about the concept of the name.]

We are given our names from the beginning, as our culture deals with it. We are referred to by an identification which necessarily has nothing to do with us unless by some chance genetics get something right and our name is perfect for us. I on the other hand, am adopted. There is not a chance my name would have been perfect for me based on my personality alone, unless you believe in nurture more than nature. Personally I believe in nurture, but not enough...I don't think you can grow into your name, really, names mean so little now that they are really just a cobination of sounds, which may or may not evoke feeling in their utterance. So what is a name? We know they are not individualistic, unless they become so recognizable that no one would dare use them again lest they defy the individuality of the person who had "claimed" the name, and the person whom they are naming. It places a personality upon someone, which never really has any hold. Parents name their children hoping to make them accepted, a name plays roles deeper than who we are while we are young, they make us who we are. But why does this utterance mean so much?

I may be Ryan Dunn. The person on television may be another Ryan Dunn. There are at least another hundred or maybe even a thousand Ryan Dunns throughout the country just at this time, maybe more including Europe and other English speaking countries, none of us having anything in common, besides a set of syllables, and parents with similar tastes, urges, predispositions or prejudices. I am Ryan Dunn because my father's father is Scottish, with whom I share no genes. I am not Scottish. I am not of anyone. I am me.

I think I feel more connection to the names, holyloki, or hypnopaedia than I do to Ryan Dunn necessarily. Sure I respond to Ryan, but that is because I have been trained to through understanding of the purpose of a name, to address a person. I would feel odd considering changing my name becaus it would mean I am in a way forsaking my attatchment to family. I don't particularly feel like I should have any attatchment to the name though. While my parents and sister are my family, only 1 of them has the name by genetic descendancy. And only one chose the name(in a sense).

As Evan spoke about creativity in a post just a short while ago, he talked about how the only thing he felt he had started to be creative about was his new desktop environment, which I am proud of him for undertaking. He claimed that for all he had done, most of the environment was created by pictures I had taken. In a sense, this feeling, (while not necessarily true in his case, because I believe setting up design and even choosing my pictures is a step towards creative thought and knowing your preference is half of creativity) is similar to the issue of names. I don't feel it has anything to do with me, regardless of what I have made the name into for my friends and those who know Ryan Dunn as a friend of theirs and not as a TV personality, as slenderly as that title may be conferred upon him. It seems that most of the work going toward that name is someone elses, and in a strange way, I want to strip myself of it. I feel a strange urge to lose this restriction, the idea that my id tag is not something which represents me makes me uneasy, and I want to let lose from it.

Let me know what you think about your own names, how you feel about the identification you have had placed upon you and how you feel about it.
Let me know if you think I should change my name, ala Frankenstein...

And we won't even start with the thing in Big Daddy that made me squirm. I think most of you that know me and have seen it will know exactly what I'm talking about. Heheh.

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