May 4th, 2006

grandma ryan

Mark two, shallow water

I planned on going to the poetry reading at Haiku tonight, but by the time I got home it felt too late to go and jump in in the middle, and really I just wasn't feeling up to it. So much for good intentions. So, instead I fell asleep and woke up about an hour and a half ago, still not feeling too well and now wide awake. When I went downstairs, my whole house was awake and present. It was kind of a surreal thing to have everyone be there when I woke up at 3:40 in the morning, but I suppose kind of pleasant in a way. I like living in a house environment, but I've been dreaming about a different kind of space lately. I wish my studio and room weren't separated by a whole floor, and that my studio space was better lit and more spacious.

Maybe I need to start making work under a pseudonym specifically to sell to see if I can afford to get a studio...
the only thing is that at the moment I live perhaps two blocks from my job, and if I want another place to live I'd be giving that up. Ugh.

Separation anxiety consistently destroys my life.
grandma ryan

holy crap

i just had the most god awful nightmares.

Edit: Maybe it had something to do with the awful music coming from the continual porch party at the apartment complex behind my house.