May 1st, 2006

grandma ryan


I think I need a refresher on socialization. I did well to teach myself how to be friendly and social some time ago. My ability to maintain social composure had gone up dramatically, but I think I lost it. I have way too many panic attacks when in public, I tend to want to sequester myself in my studio or room and I've gotten way too serious.

Does anyone have any suggestions or want to take me out and make me do ridiculous things with them? I have lots of ideas but I think I need a kick in the pants, and I need to recover my ego. I think I threw it away, because I don't know what to say to people anymore...if I ever did. I get so nervous that I don't have fun, and then I exceptionally fulfill that, and that makes me more nervous, ad infinitum.

Perhaps I do need some more performance in my life...I'm just having a terrible bout of stage fright.

Somehow I have just got to loosen up. Someone help! I'm strangling myself!
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grandma ryan

These baby spiders

crawled up my drape the other day while I had it hanging out my window. When I pulled in the drape I noticed a multitude of green baby spiders. I hope they stay small and now yellow and don't turn out to be biting spiders. They're cute for now though.

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