September 17th, 2003

grandma ryan

when the days are long

I've been a fair bit polar lately. One moment surely has little to do with the next, the assumptions I make about my surroundings, my future, and my friends always seem to be off a bit. It usually happens that when the tone of the world resonates with my mental image, I'm shocked. This is normal. I feel like I'm back from the different (and for the most part better) place I was in this past year or two...maybe it's because I stopped self medicating. But, now at least I can look and see what the pros and cons of that were. I have yet to parse them and check the scale.

I hope I can get a job soon...I'm so much more together when I'm in control of my choices.

These are strange days.
I'm even being open on here...what's that about?
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