saturday night fever.
Unable to sleep, I just watched the video I was taking on nye. Never, even when reallydrunk, have I slurred and lost the ability to speak that badly. I could barely even tell what I was saying in a couple places. I was saying something to Kristen at one point about my hat (which she was wearing) and it was very obvious to me that I was quite wounded. Prompted, I went to look at my head in the mirror and I have not only the gash but also a nice bruise on the side of my head by my eye. Shit. No more knife fights, ok guys?
i guess i need to continue what i was doing all last year. withholding.
all i can do is keep keeping myself from acknowledging my emotions.
cold, put myself deeper in the freezer. deeper. deeper.
i woke up still thinking about it. dreams full on.
walking in the canyon this morning, i think i startled this guy who walked up with his dogs. i don't think he expected to see a man with a huge beard bawling his eyes out in the middle of the woods.
hmm...i think i'm taking a book and going to the lutz and then if there's no one there after a while, maybe i'll check out the pub.