November 15th, 2000

grandma ryan

(no subject)

[still amazed that i finished my paper...] you should have seen me handing it in in poetry today...i was goofy...ok, i have to get up early tomorrow [WORK!!?!] so i am going to bed.
grandma ryan

(no subject)

went to follow around Jim, the AV guy this morning...learned all about how the systems in the different lecture halls and things are set up. i have ultimate AV power now...i will rule this school with my ultimate knowledge!!!!#!@#$#@!!@#! hehe...ok, so maybe not, but i am gonna kick ass at av.

class again til 10 tonight...painting and slides bah, maybe i will get a lot of sleep then. hehe. since i am going to be reading my ass off the rest of the night, i have to lead my hum conference tomorrow and have done not much of the reading for this week yet...ack. not to mention trying to find some source of lecture information since i can't ever go to hum lecture and my prof wants me to talk about it...erg.
grandma ryan

(no subject)

I have been making a lot of realizations, life changing thought developments the past few months. While in te shower just now, I made a realization about what I've been doing...in general, in total, in form and action. I've been going through a process and consideration of the reconciliation of the primal and the rational. While I was in the shower and with various stimuli such as the slides in painting and tim and deborah's discussion of philosophy and the split between logical almost mathematical philosophy and a more emotional philosophy such as ethics, and also just sonsideration of the typoes of work i've been pursuing both in my writing and my artwork. The urge to rationalize the primal, and the urge to primalize rationality, the reconciliation of urge and thought have been continually pressuring me into the directions I am going, the intense need to decide what passion is and how it should be explored and pursued and the method and ethics that should guide thatt constantly present themselves as problems to me, along with discovery of how I might primalize the logical, the rational, the thought prcess made to be an exploration itself and an expression rather than a presentation. I have made a discovery now that has given logic to my irrationality, free liscence to my rational thought...I think this is a turning point in my way of looking at things, how I will now approach the way not only how I behave but how i think...this isn't an instantaneous change, but you might notice a change in my demeanor and behavior over the past year at least...maybe nt so long, but some time has been in this making. I must now clothe myself, prepare way for the logic my raw inviolate nakedness will purport.